I was picking up some food today for lunch in the lower Haight and on my way out I stepped in what could only be described as a pillow of horse shit. I assume it was from a horse because I can't think of any other animal that would be on our city streets that could produce this volume of feces. I can't quite even imagine it coming from a horse, so large and round it was, yet there it sat between two parked cars near the curb.
My shoe took one for the team and I had to ride my bike with one food to the nearby Duboce park to find a good patch of grass in which to wipe it vigorously. Still, the once appetizing smell of my boca-burger philly cheessteak could not fight back the sickly sweet smell of this horse's time bomb, still trapped in the ridges of my sole.
The lower Haight is not known for its riding paths or polo fields, so I can only imagine that there was some sort of riot in the lower Haight earlier that day. While the other mounted riders strode forth into the fray, one horse, possibly due to a late night drinking followed by some ill advised mexican food, decided to hold back for a few minutes. "I'll be there in just a second" said this horse edging toward a secluded space between two cars "My rider is loose, I uh, just need to get him secured."
Of course everyone in the nearby restaurants saw me do it. Everyone of them was horrified, like they had just witnessed someone being hit by a meteor or some other unfortunate improbably event. I tried to play it off, but there's really nothing you can do when you've discovered a prehistoric dump with your foot.